Jun 5200612:00 AM CDT

Run For Your Lives! IE 7 to KILL FireFox AAAGGGGGHHHHHHH

This made me laugh. ..... A lot.

To sum it up: "IE 6 is a piece of shit and thus FireFox kicked its ass. IE 7 will be the best broswer on the planet period and we will all fall down and worship its creator for being kind enough to bestow it upon us. FireFox thus, is doomed like the heathen pig-dog that it is. Oh, and IE 7 will have these new cool things called tabs."

That's it in a nutshell. The author of this piece, unfortunately, is basing her conclusions on several very faulty pieces of logic:

Logical Mis-steps

Microsoft is capable of creating anything in its first release that actually works
Once Microsoft gets IE 7 to work, it will magically be secure
Microsoft will be able to successfully steal, er make, a good user interface
FireFox will roll over and just accept defeat
The current 10% of the market that uses FireFox will suddenly become idiots

Now, lets look at them one at a time shall we? First, when has MS ever released anything that just worked right off the bat? IE 7 will need at least two patches before it is even remotely workable. And I will be amazed if those patches manage to come out with in six months of IE 7's release.

Second, and this is a big one, SECURITY. The chick who wrote this stupid article basically thinks that somehow IE 7 will be secure. I guess she is basing this off Microsoft's glorious track record for security ... or maybe she is just smoking crack. Either way it's amusing. I mean, everything Microsoft has ever produced has grave security holes in it. Everything. Yet somehow IE 7 won't follow that trend? Come on folks, lets think about this for a moment. People started using FireFox because IE is such a huge security nightmare. As it turned out, that whole "lets weld the broswer onto the OS so that it is an intrinsic part that can never be removed" idea was a really sucky one. Now, if IE 7 was a standalone browser, they might have a chance of (credibly) claiming that it's more secure. But since that has about as much chance as happening as Bill admitting he owns an iPod...

Third, the user interface. I read an article somewhere recently in which the head guy at IE development was quoted as saying that IE 7 would use "very basic" tabs. Um, ok? I guess thats because tabs are such a new feature that he isn't sure people would want them? Or maybe its because Microsoft is pioneering tabbed browsing and isn't sure if they can make it work? Now, this is just me, but I personally think this whole tabbed browsing thing is going to be big. But maybe its just a coincidence that Mozilla, FireFox, Camino, Opera, Safari, Konqueror, Amay, Neoplanet, Galeon, iCab, Crazy Browser, NetCaptor, OmniWeb, Mosaic, Phoenix, Klondike, Voyager, iRider, Crystal Port and Chimera all use tabs? You're right, its probably just a fluke. Because everybody knows that Microsoft would never steal another companies idea and then re-market it as their own.

What are we up to now, is it fourth? Fourth, right. Ah, this is my favorite. FireFox will see IE 7 and run for the hills, screaming and crying like the French when they fought, well, anyone. But I digress. What was I saying? Oh yes, the people who create FireFox will see IE 7 and just give up. They will pack their suitcases, clean out their desks and take the last train for the coast. Or they could just update FireFox to once again make it better than IE and gain more market share. Hmm, which will they do??????

Fifth, everyone who is currently using FireFox will say "holy smokes Batman, do you see that?" and rush out and go download it. All of those people who donated money and supported them will just switch camps because IE 7 has come out. Yeah, I see that happening.

So, based on this, I can say with some certainty that FireFox will still be alive and kicking when IE 7 finally makes its way into town. Let the fun begin.

Oh, and you don't think any bad people out there will create viruses, hacks, and exploits that might take advantage of IE 7 do you? Nah, what are the chances of that?